August 26, 2013

My Anxiety

I'm once again at a loss as to how I should start this post. I am usually a private person when it comes to my emotions and things that affect me. Recently I have been thrown a few curveballs by life, and I have had some not-so-great days. I try to be positive, but sometimes I find that it isn't the easiest thing to do, especially when all you want to do it curl up into a ball and cry. When you add into the mix that I am an extremely anxious person I guess you could see how things could escalate quickly. 

When it comes to my anxiety I have always been really good at hiding it from those around me. My family always knew about it, but as far as I know my friends didn't know. Outwardly I could be fine, but on the inside I could be having a breakdown. It isn't just one thing that triggers my anxiety, but a bunch of different ones.  I range from having my heart race, to sweating, and even having panic attacks. As I have gotten older they have gotten worse, but I have found ways to cope with them as best I can.

One thing that triggers my anxiety is change. While I do believe that change is healthy and should happen in life I also know that I need to prepare myself for the change. Let's just say, I don't exactly handle large changes that happen abruptly very well. Recently I made the painful decision to transfer schools. I could no longer stay at the college that I had grown to call home and had created a family of friends. I had to move back home and attend one of the local schools. This change absolutely devastated me. I began to feel depressed, and couldn't imagine that I would ever be happy again. These feelings also led to a few panic attacks. I like to be in control of my life and the things around me. When I feel that control slip away I freak out and can't handle it. I have always been a bit of a perfectionist, and ever since I was little I have had a picture in my head as to what my future would be, but as many of you know, life doesn't always go the way you planned. Thankfully, I have an incredible family who helped me to pick up the pieces, and encouraged me to find outlets for my anxiety that would make me happy. One of those outlets was this blog. Whenever I felt sad or panicked I would just start writing. I have tons of posts that I have written that I created during this time. While many of them will never see the light of day (haha!) others you have actually been reading.  I had to constantly remind myself that these feelings would pass, and sure enough they did. While I'm still sad that I won't see my friends every day I know that they will miss me as much as I miss them and I will be able to visit them loads!
I have found that there is no singular way to help my anxiety. One thing that helps the most is music. When I am at my most anxious I will put my headphones in and just lay on my bed listening to a playlist of my favorite music. This does wonders for my nerves, and really helps to calm me down. When it comes to my panic attacks I find that talking through them with someone helps calm me down. I have been working on finding activities that I can channel my feelings into. I have been looking into taking yoga classes as a way to get out of my head and do something constructive. Find something that works for you whether it's painting, reading, baking, or working out.

Here are some of the songs that really help me through a hard time.

-Florence + The Machine: Shake It Out
-Kacey Musgraves: Follow Your Arrow
-Little Mix: Wings
-Demi Lovato: Skyscraper
-Katy Perry: Roar

One of the main things I hope you get out of this post is that those feelings that may be making you anxious will go away. It may take some time and maybe a good chat with someone who cares about you, but they will end and you will feel better. I have been trying very hard to break myself out of my comfort zone, and overcome my anxiety. I know that as long as I allow my anxiety to dictate what I do that I won't ever become the person I hope to be. 

Feel free to send me an email or message if you ever need someone to talk to. I'm told that I am a good listener :). Have a great day, and remember to stay positive!



  1. Wonderful post...I like your pretty blog.^^
    Maybe follow each other on bloglovin?
    Let me know follow you then back.
    Lovely greets Nessa

    1. Thank you! Just followed you. Love you blog Xx

  2. Thank you so much for the follow.
    Follow you back on bloglovin.
    Lovely greets


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